Meet Margarita
🙋♀️ Welcome
Good to meet you! Welcome!
My English-speaking life began in 1991. I came to the UK with my family, arriving here just days before the coup that ended Soviet Union. Since then, England has been my home.
But my search for a sense of home began much earlier than that.
I grew up feeling alone in a family that would eventually count seven children. This seeded in me a longing to discover what connects people, what creates a sense of belonging.
This search has prompted me to explore many paths. I studied languages at Uni. Alongside that, I trained in Shiatsu, a Japanese healing art rooted in Oriental Medicine. Much later, training in Counselling skills brought me back to language - and how to use it to connect more deeply.
Still, there was something missing.
Feeling at home isn’t just how you’re spoken to. It’s how you’re seen. Who you get to be.
A vital piece showed up when I came across the Psychosynthesis approach to psychology. I spotted the word ‘soul’ in an article and wept tears of recognition. It felt like coming home.
Coming home to a soulful stance to meeting people.
Even psychology can play judgemental games. But to play judge, you have to keep your distance. You have to view yourself as different and better. That’s not something I want to do.
I want to meet you, in Rumi’s field.
Beyond ideas of right and wrong, there is a field. I’ll meet you there.
– Rumi
I want to listen between and around the words you say, so I come as close as I can to hearing what you mean. I want to recognise the precious moments when your truth reveals itself. I want to be part of your unfolding.
Psychosynthesis offers its practitioners something called the Tri-focal Vision lens. It’s a reminder to see a human being, acknowledging their struggles - but to remember also to lift up the gaze to the star of their furthest dreams. The guiding star of your deepest dreams and highest possibilities, of who you are becoming.
The experience that’s made the biggest difference in my life is being seen with the eyes of love.
😍 The Eyes of Love
[IMAGE: photo of Margarita at 4yo]
As I gaze at this black-and-white photo of my 4yo self, I wonder what makes her smile so wistful. I have a hunch. Something has been missing for her. She needs to be seen with the Eyes of Love.
It takes the Eyes of Love to see her beauty. To welcome her and to tenderly take her in. And then to give herself back to herself.
The Eyes of Love make no demands. They don’t need her to change. To become something that she isn’t.
These eyes are willing to admire her for living from her inherent nature.
There is a great generous space in their gaze.
They see not just her beauty. They see her longings and vulnerability, too. Somehow, the Eyes of Love can welcome them all.
Basking in the warm beams emanating from the Eyes of Love, her wings unfurl. Her wistfulness melts. She becomes… even more herself.
🪷 A lotus of countless petals
Say not, “I have found the truth,” but rather, “I have found a truth.”
Say not, “I have found the path of the soul.”
Say rather, “I have met the soul walking upon my path.”
For the soul walks upon all paths.
The soul walks not upon a line, neither does it grow like a reed.
The soul unfolds itself, like a lotus of countless petals.
― Kahlil Gibran, The Prophet
I said earlier that feeling at home is about how you’re seen and who you get to be. Of course, it also encompasses who you allow yourself to become. How you see yourself.
Before I could help others embrace their dreams, I had to learn to hear and hold my own.
As I found and reawakened more of me, I became a dancer again (I’d had ballet lessons as a kid). I spent 10 years on the Brighton salsa scene, and then a decade dancing Argentine Tango. Eventually, I began to teach Tango, and got invited to give my 2015 TEDx talk Dance Tango Life.
Tango taught me about relating in ways I could not foresee. I learnt how the first person I had to trust was me. How I could pace building trust with someone, one encounter at a time. How there was a flow of lead and follow to the dance, invisible to the uninitiated eye, which mirrors what happens between people away from the dancefloor.
The learnings about trust were well-timed, because away from the dancefloor, I was looking for a heartmate. I went on many dates. I learnt a lot. I learnt how to out-pace and dispatch bad boys. How to receive compliments with grace. How to get to know my Dream Lover inside me, to help me spot who might resemble him in real life. These learnings would later become part of my treasure-trove to share with my clients wanting to enhance their dating efforts.
Then there was a day when a Tango student asked me for advice on how to deal with a personal crisis. Instead of advice, I offered to listen and propose prompts. This experience inspired me to train in Counselling skills.
The following year, holding a PG Certificate in Leadership Coaching in my hand, I knew that my best contribution to the field would be through Tango. I had faith in the value of taking the abstract idea ‘leadership’ and giving it a tangible form, something people could explore for themselves. My colleagues at the Active Learning Network (ALN) helped me develop my Dance of Leadership workshop. I shared the principles of the embodied format in a chapter included in a 2019 book for educators.
My adventure as a writer continues to unfold. In 2025 I was invited to write my first book by Routledge, a leading publisher of academic and professional books. The book will allow me to share what I’ve learnt about choosing a career, sustaining motivation and momentum, and keeping confidence topped up so you can turn your trials into triumphs.
Allowing the Artist in me space to breathe and live has resulted in me qualifying as a NeuroGraphica Specialist. This in turn led to my first solo artwork exhibition in 2025. The gift of drawing for transformation using the NeuroGraphica method is that it gives you access to deep parts of yourself that words fail to reach.
Obviously, all these domains are different, but in one regard, at least, not quite as different as you might imagine. Over the years I've come to understand that all of these have to do with self-making, learning and relating.
🏡 Home in yourself
I’ve shared with you so many of my dreams that have materialised into lived reality. But what’s behind them? What goes into becoming what’s in you to become?
Taking charge of your life and placing yourself at the centre of your universe as the Captain of your ship is a subtle, inward shift. It’s stepping into your sovereignty. This word took on new meanings for me as I explored the Jungian psychology of archetypes.
I was helped in this exploration by my experiences in the theatre. I’ve done some acting, followed by costume design, choreography and, more recently, directing. Each of these has offered a path into the inward experience. As Simon Callow puts it in Being an Actor, costume travels inward. The costume I find myself donning with the greatest glee is the Playful Queen.
The Playful Queen reminds me of my philosophy of relationships as aiming to create Autonomy in Connection. This means seeking neither to dominate or be dominated, but to maintain an alive connection that allows each person within its sphere to be themselves. I’ve used this lens to transform my relationships. I also offer it to clients who want a fresh perspective on how to weather breakups or create or reawaken vibrant, wholesome relationships. This is such an important topic to me that I’ve also trained in Solution Building Couples Therapy.
It is also the Playful Queen who acts as my guiding star when I immerse myself in the topic of Prosperity. The human aspect of dealing with money and wealth has fascinated me ever since I became aware that there a psycho-logic at work which is quite distinct from the technical aspect of ‘how money is done.
All these elements combine to enable me to bring you the best that I've become.
👥 If we were to meet
If we were to meet, I would be listening out for clues to the question “What’s the hunger in your heart?”
And I’d be watching out to recognise what kind of dance we weave together, and when you may need a pause or a prompt.
You’d likely hear me mention how I ‘excavated’ a word for its deeper meanings by looking up its etymology and how it came to mean what it means today.
And you may hear me quote the Cheshire Cat from Alice in Wonderland by Lewis Carrol. When Alice asks which way she ought to go, the Cat and I reply “That depends a good deal on where you want to get to.”
I sometimes call myself a Chameleon Coach. I specialise in shifting seamlessly between the soulful and the practical, between the prose of step-by-step plans and the poetry of who you are at your core. The SoulWork I do is for people who need this kind of multidimensional support and guidance.
Not sure what comes next?
Sometimes the first step is just saying this matters.
A Nesting Call is a gentle conversation to meet you where you are — no fixing, no rushing, just deep listening and space to notice what wants to unfold.
👋 Until then
Until we meet... may the star of your brightest dreams guide you to your most jubilant unfolding. And, quoting from Tao Te Ching, may your heart find peace.