Do You Need to Name the Problem?
Ever said - or heard someone else say - things like “I have parent issues” or “I am a people-pleaser”?
How do such phrases make you feel?
When I hear them, I wonder what their attraction might be.
My best estimate is that they can seem to bring a kind of relief.
The power to name your demons offers at least a hope that knowing their names may give you some control.
Knowing your demons’ names may give you some control.
And perhaps sometimes it does.
But I’ve also seen people who’ve known their demons’ names for a long time, and knowing the names has not done for them what they had hoped.
Both coaching and Solution Focused Brief Therapy (SFBT) start from a different place. They start from a description of the solution.
They ask, “Where to? What would you like to move towards?”
What would you like to move towards?
Sometimes you don’t have to fix where you’ve been (or even who you’ve been) to make headway towards the life you want to live.
Suppose you no longer felt compelled to do as you’ve done before? What would you do instead?
What difference would that make?
What’s the most immediate next step you could take towards the life you want?
Not sure what comes next?
Sometimes the first step is just saying this matters.
A Nesting Call is a gentle conversation to meet you where you are — no fixing, no rushing, just deep listening and space to notice what wants to unfold.
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