Get Unstuck
When you’re feeling stuck, how do you get yourself unstuck?
Solution Focused Brief Therapy (SFBT) shares this with the coaching outlook: they both know that problems aren’t always the birthplace of solutions.
Problems aren’t always the birthplace of solutions.
Problems spur you on, but they also tend to direct where you look. They can keep your mental gaze glued to where you're starting from. Looking back over your shoulder isn’t great for helping you go ahead.
Try this quick test: can you describe your desired destination without using the word ‘not’ and suchlike? If you discover that you struggle to do this, that’s the effect of the problem-centric thought loop.
Describing your destination by what it’s not is a lot like saying “I’m setting out from Brighton, aiming to arrive… not in Bournemouth.”
This could keep you rooted to the spot for a long time!
A more reliable approach is to tap directly into your inner Solution Locator.
Tap directly into your inner Solution Locator.
This is where the GROW template comes in.
G stands for Goal - where you want to be headed. R (for Reality) is where you’re starting from. These are the two points that define a journey. You can apply this to any kind of change.
The clearer and more vivid your description of the G zone, the more inspiring it is for your brain. When your G zone is super-charged, it shifts your brain into the O mode.
O stands for Obstacles and Options. These only come into play, really, when your start and end points are clear. Wondering how to achieve the change you want without those is like looking at a train timetable when you only know the departure station. None of the trains listed are going to look right!
Now, let’s assume you’ve scoped out several options for moving from R(eality) to G(oal). Only then is it relevant to ask “Which way will I go?” (That’s the W game).
This is how GROW takes you step-by-step from a mental tangle to a tangible plan:
G(oal)
R(eality)
O(bstacles) & O(ptions)
Way ahead
The beautiful thing is that throughout this process, you remain in the driving seat.
Earlier this week, I hosted a self-coaching online workshop where I guided the participants to use GROW for themselves.
One person said at the end, “This is a really practical and useful way to think in a new way about a challenge.”
What’s your favourite way to get unstuck?
I’ll be running my Get Unstuck workshop again (in a slightly longer format) next month. 90 minutes of my guidance to help you put GROW into practice on your current stubborn challenge.
For details and dates, go to my Eventbrite page.
Not sure what comes next?
Sometimes the first step is just saying this matters.
A Nesting Call is a gentle conversation to meet you where you are — no fixing, no rushing, just deep listening and space to notice what wants to unfold.
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